Feeling appreciated...

I had a call from a friend last night.    She was in floods of tears.   She had just got home from her weekly volunteering commitment as a Cub Scout Leader, working with 30 inquisitive, demanding and boisterous boys and girls.   Last night, a parent of one of the children had arrived forty minutes late to pick up her daughter.   When my friend, who had stayed behind to look after the increasingly tearful child, asked the parent if everything was OK, she received a mouthful of abuse, which ended up with a humdinger of a parting shot as mother and child sped off in the family 4 X 4: “I pay the fees for my child come to Cubs; I pay you to do your job, not ask why I’m late.”

Now, of course, neither of us had any idea why the parent was late.  There could have been any number of very good reasons for her being delayed, irritable and stressed.    But, in the heat of the moment, she attacked the wrong person.   My friend isn’t paid to be a Cub Leader.   Like countless voluntary youth workers around the UK, she gives of her time and talent freely because she enjoys doing so.    It would have been unforgiveable for the parent to treat a paid member of staff in the way that she did.   So shouting at an unpaid volunteer is really pretty low.

I can’t speak to that parent.   I can’t tell her that my friend was incredibly upset.   I can’t tell her that, despite this, she will have been bag packing at her local supermarket this afternoon, in order to raise money to help pay for summer camp for some of the Pack’s less advantaged Cubs.  

So, instead, I’m encouraging you to go and thank your local volunteer youth leaders – and to share the following with any parents you know who might be tempted to take out their anxieties on them.   I found it on the 201st Islington Sea Scout Group's website late last night and I think it’s rather good.

Dear parents

Thank you for lending us your children.

We are not experts. We're your next door neighbours. We're not perfect; we are just parents like you.

We don't have any more spare time or energy than you do; we all work full time and juggle our families and our schedules and try to keep it all together as best we can.

The only difference between us is that we believe in what Scouting has to offer. So much so, that we contribute our time, our miles, and our talents to help your children and our children grow in Scouting.

We complete authorisation forms, budgets, and registrations, and fill our homes with boxes of paperwork that you will never see.

We are required to take hours of training, as well as attend leaders’ meetings, so that we can meet our greatest challenge - providing a variety of programmes which meet the needs and interests of very individual boys and girls.

We try to involve parents who want us to understand that they don't have the time to drive on outings or help at meetings. We rejoice at the generosity of others.

Sometimes we find ourselves going in too many directions; we run out of steam. We have memory lapses. Communication lines break down. Time slips by. But that doesn't mean we don't care.

So many evenings we spend on the phone, seeking advice and support from other leaders when disappointments or problems occur. "How do I keep my child’s attention?" "What are your ideas for the ceremony?" "How do you work with youngsters in four different sections?"

Our dining room tables are covered with bits of rope, menus, tour permits, and merit badge cards for each and every youngster in the group. A couple of them won't show up, and don't think to call and let us know. Sometimes we feel unappreciated.

Yet, these youngsters can fill us with pride at their determination and accomplishments. Their smiles light up a room; and when they say "Thank You" it makes it all worth it.

We help these youngsters build relationships. Some struggle more than others. Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly... is encouraged by the Scout Oath and Law. And sometimes we too must learn these lessons over and over again with the boys and girls. But we are willing to keep learning.

Please be patient if we appear distracted or frustrated or overwhelmed at times. Forgive us if we are not the kind of Scout Leader you would be if you had the time. Instead, provide us with encouragement or offer your help. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

We are, after all, only mentors...role models...leaders. Volunteers who have taken an oath to give these boys and girls, your youngsters, the most precious gift we have to offer- the gift of time.

With best wishes

Your child's Cub Scout Leaders

 PS   We also get a bit upset when you turn up late after a meeting on a Friday night and shout at us…